How the T/M and T/P Wars Ended..
by MintlytheBADgoddess
Summary: What if Trunks rejected both Marron and Pan? What if the blonde and raven haired temptress were wallowing in their sorrows when... *complete* (only chapter)


This is for all those T/P bashers and T/M bashers. I figured hell! This is strictly for humor/ironic purposes. All flames /reviews are welcomed :)  
  
How the T/M and T/P Wars Ended...  
  
Pan and Marron were sitting on the couch eating icecream, watching television. The demi held a gallon and a spoon meanwhile the blondeclung to her bowl.  
  
"Trunks is a bastard," Marron said absently, eyes glued to the television while flicking through the channels. Nothing good was on same old boring talk shows and sit-coms. (sit-communism needs to stop!)  
  
"Mmhm..," Pan murmured entranced by the colors and lights emitting from the screen.  
  
:: "Captain, there it is!" Lt. Ryker shouted as the blurr creeped across the screen and attacked the first ranking officer onboard the Starship Enterprise. :: (yes Star Trek NEVER goes away :D)  
  
"What is this crap?" Pan asked with disgust.  
  
"I don't know. Look at that thing, what the hell is the point of being invisible if we can clearly see your blurr movements? `Look at me I'm an almost-invisible-but-not-quite-alien'" mocked Marron.  
  
"Heh heh, if I was the `cap'n' I would ki blast his ass and get the hell outta there" Pan smirked as Marron laughed while changing it to another channel.  
  
:: "No! Don't take my kids away Eric! Anything but my kids...." the woman on the television screamed in agony as she fell to her knees and screamed out. Suddenly, the screen faded to black indicating it was clearly the end. ::  
  
"Men are bastards," said Marron in an montonous-18-like-voice.  
  
"Mmm..yup.." replied Pan.  
  
::Up next on Lifetime, channel for women..Woman is brutally beaten by man with garden rake and attempts to get on with her life...stay tuned!::  
  
Marron throws ki ball at television all of a sudden and tv goes up in smoke. Pan looks over to her friend and quirks a brow questioningly.  
  
"Why the hell would women write about other women getting hurt by men and then play it on a channel for twenty freaking four hours a day?!" Marron yelled out abruptly, breaking the small silence. Pan seemed a little taken aback by her friend's sudden outburst but then a frown creeped over her face.  
  
"I know! What the hell is wrong with them? We should write a story where the women rapes the MAN'S ass and see how HE copes with it!" Pan yelled. Marron began laughing histerically.  
  
"R-rape..his ass?" she choked out between fits of giggles. Pan frowned.  
  
"You know what I mean!" she yelled over Marron's laughing.  
  
"Yeah but still....his ass?" Marron had tears in her eyes. Soon Pan cracked a small smile and put down her icecream. "Where's Cricket?" asked Marron looking around the room for the newest member of the Son family.  
  
Pan snorted and replied curtly, "knowing THAT dog she's probably out barking at parked cars or something. I'm usually don't talk so fouly of animals but she is SO dumb!" Marron laughed as her friend sighed dramatically. It was true, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but was cute. It was more than obvious that Gohan had picked her out. From another room in the house, possibly the kitchen, barking could be heard and light running steps.  
  
"Uh-oh"  
  
More running then the next thing the golden haired young woman saw was Pan holding up the strange looking dog by the skin on the back of her neck.  
  
"Ya know," began Pan assessing the mere pup, nose scrunched up "she's got that cute blank look behind her eyes..you know the one that says `I have nor am I capable of a thought in the world'" Pan sighed as she swung the dog to her chest. "We try to reprimand her for doing various mischievious things but she just stares at us...with that look."  
  
Marron cooed at the reddish brown hair and long thin legs.  
  
"Perro, aquel!" commanded Marron pointing towards the doorway. Cricket whimpered a bit and wandered out through the door.  
  
"Hey Pan?" asked Marron with an eerie look on her face.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I think I figured out the mystery of your alien dog's stupidity..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"She's a spanish speaking dog!" Marron exclaimed excited at the revelation. Pan fell over (anime style). Recovering soon, looking strangely at Marron all the same, she stood up and assessed the damaged T.V.  
  
"Maaarron...didja hafta blow it up? You could of just changed the channel if you felt the need." Pan whined.  
  
"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly "it's just since..ya know..Trunks I've been a little on end" Marron sighed as she leaned her head on her friend's shoulder.  
  
"Yeah I know, he rejected me too.......we should kill him," Pan grinned mischieviously.  
  
"Pan!" Marron laughed, "I don't want to KILL him per say, I just want to..." Pan looked at her skeptically "alright, alright! I want to kill him! I want feel the feel of his blood between my fingers and hear his final screams off his purple bruised lips," said Marron in a chilling murderous voice that would of made even Vegeta get goosebumpies. Pan immediately looked up at the blonde.  
  
"An youuu....just came up with that right now?" Pan asked looking into powdery blue eyes. Marron waved a hand at her.  
  
"Nah, I've used that one on Goten a couple of times too."  
  
"Oh, okay then" Pan shrugged pulling Marron closer. Marron raised a brow as if asking `your uncle?' "he's a guy too...the bastard."  
  
"And Ubuu?"  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"Vegeta?"  
  
"BASTARD!"  
  
There was a brief comfortable silence in the room as Marron asked as she stroked the raven locks, thinking.  
  
"Pan?"  
  
"Mmm?" she murmured watching the blonde pull out a crumpled sheet of paper from her pocket and unfolding it. Tears welled up in powdery blue eyes, filling to the brim like a water overpoured into a drinking glass.  
  
"I wrote this about Trunks!" Marron wailed as she stuffed it in Pan's face obviously to read. Unfolding the paper and eyeing it suspiciously all the same, Pan began reading the so called `poem'.  
  
--  
  
I love your hair so long and lavender,  
  
I count the days on my calender.  
  
`Till you are mine always and forever,  
  
I hope we have ten dozen spawns together.  
  
Even though Mom doesn't like you much,  
  
And when my hormones went crazy, YOU SUCKED!  
  
And when you don't notice me I just die,  
  
One time I left 47 messages on your answering machiene, no lie. (It was me that broke your answering machine)  
  
No one knows the extent of my devoted cares,  
  
If you lost your legs, I would carry you down stairs.  
  
All and all to you I just want to say,  
  
Fuck the world, let's run away!!!  
  
-Marron :)  
  
--  
  
Pan eyes watered up when she finished reading and cried out, "Marron!" more tears "that was possibly the WORST poem I've ever read...ever!" Pan was full out crying now with Marron clinging on to her as if her life depended on it.  
  
"I know!" both girls were clinging to eachother crying their eyes out but soon enough their cries lessend to sobs and sobs to whimpers and so on. Pretty much silence was followed up.  
  
"Pan-chan?" asked Marron breaking the thoughtful silence.  
  
"Hmm?" Pan asked gazing dazedly at the ceiling, trying to count all the little dots.  
  
"If it's any conselation, I think y-you're pretty" choked out Marron. A big smile creeped up on Pan's features as she swung her face to look at Marron in the eye. She was picking the stuffing out of a hole in the sofa.  
  
"I don't know why Trunks didn't choose you, your hair is perfect and you have pretty, big, blue eyes and all the other guys like you and-," Pan was cut off by the sudden actions of Marron. She roughly pulled Pan to her face and kissed her roughly but thoroughly. Without hesitation, the raven haired temptress immediately responded burrying her hands in Marron's long golden tresses. The blonde was struggling with the Capsule Corp. tank adorning Pan.  
  
"Mmm.." she moaned into her heated mouth as Pan opened her own for exploration.  
  
"Marron?" Pan growled out while trying not break their kiss.  
  
"Pan, just shut up and kiss me!" Marron berated.  
  
"No um..Marron.."  
  
"What?!" Marron paused their kissing exasperatedly.  
  
"My hands....they're stuck!" Pan cried out in horror.  
  
"Nani?!" Marron began freaking out as she tried releasing Pan's hold on her precious hair. Until...  
  
"Whew...false alarm!" Pan sighed in relief. Both sweat dropped. Slowly, Pan and Marron raised their eyes to look at eachother again until both lunged at eachother and began kissing brutally. Shirts went flying across the room. So? The Son's were out to dinner and they had the house to themselves!  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Trunks and Goten were going out to a hot new club to pick up girls when Goten had remembered he left his jacket over his big brother's house, refusing to go without it. So, Trunks exasperatedly agreed and on the way to the Son's they went. Goten's ears pricke up as muffled noises could be on the other side of the door, but shrugged it off. Opening the front door, Goten peered inside but jaw dropped to see Pan and Marron struggling at eachothers shorts. Sounds of pleasure emitted from both, as they were very intune with eachother and not the outside world.  
  
"Hello? Gohan?" Trunks barged in behind Goten only to stop dead in his tracks when his eyes burned upon two girls residing on the couch.  
  
"Whoa.." he breathed out eyes about to pop out of his head at the extremely erotic scene in front of him.  
  
Pan and Marron immediately looked over their shoulders at the sound of the male voice only to see two demi-sayains standing in the doorway, jaws down to the floor.  
  
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" they both screached synchronized. Trunks and Goten immediately scrambled to the door, arms and legs getting in the way as they raced for the exit. When they were finally on the other side, they slammed in shut and leaned against it. Both demis breathed a loud, audible sigh of relief.  
  
"P.M.S.?" asked Goten looking over to the lavender-haired demi, but still leaning against the door for support of his shaky legs.  
  
"S-sounds good," Trunks agreed.  
  
"W-wanna get drunk?"  
  
"Lead the way.."  
  
The End.  
  
Like I said I really want to know if this one was read. Please Flame/Review me. EITHER! *mutters* if I don't get a reaction from this one I'm quitting the whole fanfiction thing! -kristy :D 


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